The Ramblings of a Man Who is Unable to Sleep

Like the title suggests, there really isn't a point to this post. It might just be ramblings about things you do not care about, but I do know that I am going to talk about Teen Wolf. We will just see where it goes from there!

I think I should start with the obvious: I SAW MYSELF ON TV TONIGHT! For most people, this is probably nothing, but I think that it is really cool, so it is kind of a big deal to me. The episode ended at 11pm, and here it is 4:30am and I am still riding the high. That's some kind of high right there if you ask me.

I knew this day would eventually get here ever since I was on set the day that episode was filmed, back in February. I have had 4 months to prepare for it. But I wasn't ready.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN YOURSELF ON TV?!

I mean, back in February, I was an extra. Talk about Cloud 9! I actually blogged about my first experience as an extra (You can read about that experience here! Extra! Extra! Read All About It!). The episode that aired tonight was filmed the week after that. I can't believe that I did not blog about this experience! It was SO MUCH BETTER! I was, as you can see from the picture below, SO CLOSE to the two main characters! I WISH I could have talked to them (I actually did say a few words to Crystal [Allison, the main girl] when she first came into the classroom and sat down)! I do have to say that I did get to talk to Mama Argent (Eaddy Mays), though. She's SO cool and down to Earth.

Yes, that's me!

In case you were wondering what I was writing/looking at, here is the notebook I was given to use as a prop for the scene. We were told to take notes. You probably can't read it, but it is what was written on the board. I just started copying it, and that's how far I got. Apparently, this scene was filmed on Wednesday.

I think that, if I was a professional TV actor, I would take some time to talk to those extras that knew and followed the show and actually wanted to talk to me. It might actually make their day as it would have mine as an extra if one of the main characters talked to me.

But anyway, back to the extra thing. As you can see, I was chosen to sit right behind Crystal Reed! So cool! Then Tyler Posey came into the room and sat really close to me. I could have talked to them if we had had like a 5 minute break to just sit there and chill haha, provided they actually wanted to talk to me. There are scenes that we filmed that either were not used for other reasons or that will be in future episodes, so that'd be really cool to see myself again :) But really, don't hold your breath. I had my time on screen, and that was totally awesome.

I think I put these actors and actresses on a pedestal. I know they are just normal people like me, but at the same time, they aren't. They are on TV every week like it's no big deal. We expect to see them there. They have tons of followers on Twitter, and people tweet them ALL the time. There's something different about them that makes them not "normal humans." So yea, I put them on a pedestal, and I am ok with that. I bet they'd all disagree, that they really are like normal people just like you and I are, but I think I would have to disagree. Normal people don't have upwards of 10,000 followers on Twitter. Normal people don't appear on a hit TV show every Monday for 12 (or 24) weeks. So while they are just like you and I, they are celebrities, so they aren't.

I think (I do a lot of that, especially late at night) that I have figured out the whole purpose behind that last paragraph. I put them on a pedestal because they have what I feel like a lot of people want, what I want. Honestly, I was eating up all the attention on Facebook and Twitter tonight. No lie. I loved it. This is going to sound really vain and shallow, but I liked the attention. Eyes were on me tonight, and I liked it. It was just a small, a very small, bit of what the actors/actresses go through a lot I bet. I want that. That'd be so cool. To have total strangers approach me and say, "Hey, aren't you the guy on [insert name of TV show here]?" I think that'd be so cool. I have had this itch, this dream, to go West, to LA, for awhile, before I have to come back to reality and settle down with a job and whatnot. How cool would it be to go to LA, somehow get an audition for something, and it lead to something else, something big? That would be amazing. I think I would put teaching on hold for a few years to do that. I think.

(I am desperately trying to not begin each paragraph with "I think," but that's really what this post is, just me thinking) I think that I want those things: the fame, the attention, etc., because I have a fear of living a useless life. (Not that NOT being "famous" would be a useless life, because that's not what I am saying at all, but that having the fame would be a surefire way to have a "useful" life.) To know that people, a lot of people, were affected by me being here on this Earth. I think that is one of the main reasons I want to be a teacher. I want to impact lives. I would hate to live my life knowing that I didn't impact anyone. That would totally suck. I know that teachers impact people, because I have been impacted by several teachers, but I am just scared that I won't find the same satisfaction in the impact teachers make that I think actors make.

Even if it's just one film, or one TV show that only gets a few episodes before getting cancelled due to unforeseen reasons, I still want it. I hear that people sometimes start out as extras, become stand-ins, get a line or two, and BAM! they are "discovered" and whisked off to some big TV/movie set where they have major screen time and tons of lines. That would be awesome.

If you have read all of this, thank you. I realize that I rambled, but I did give a fair warning. I went from being a superficial extra, to a real guy who actually had something deep to say in this post. I'll call this a successful post, but I might be just a little biased ;)

What do you think? The comment box is just below this, what else are you waiting for?



Cameron

Where did the time go??

The question came to me just a little while ago, right after I finished explaining to my aunt what was going on in my life as far as college is concerned. Two more years left. Four more semesters. 12 actual classes, TOSS, then Student Teaching. After that, graduation. Then the real world hits.

Where did the time go??

This past week, two of my really good friends got engaged (congrats, Ben and Lizzie!). I felt like I was not old enough to know people my age that were getting engaged, but then I realized that I am 20, going on 21, and that it is almost that time (it IS that time for people who have been dating for almost 4 years :]). Every time I talk with people about the future, when I see myself getting married and whatnot, I always say I want to be engaged/married by the time I am 24 or 25. That's not too far off for me. I will be 21 two months from Wednesday. I am too old to be 21 years old! My parents got married the year my mom turned 21 and right before my dad turned 23. I can't be that age already! I realize that times were different 27 years ago, and people are now getting married later in their 20s, but in a little over a year, I will be the age my dad was when he got engaged and married. So crazy!

Where did the time go??

I have a hard time realizing that I moved to Kennesaw for college 2 years ago. It seems like just yesterday that I walked into Columbus High school for the first time as a 14 year old freshman. But that was almost 7 years ago. I can still vividly remember my first days at Gorman Christian Academy in the 5th grade, attending the soccer team's practice (at the request of the coach) and making the team right after practice...on my birthday. But those days have been gone for almost 10 years.

Where did the time go??

Two years from now, I will be in the process of finding a teaching job or setting up my classroom. Two-three years from now, if things play out like I want them to (haha, right?), I will be planning a wedding/getting married. How crazy is that?! Just 2 years! High school is 4 years, and that seemed to FLY by. I have been in college for 2 years, and these years definitely flew by.

I am in NO rush to grow up, that is for sure (my cousin's 5 year old son told me today that I was a "grown up", and I told him I didn't want to be grown up! haha), but I think I am just finally realizing where I am in life, and all the things that I have to look forward to in the next five years.


But so much for future thinking. Currently, I have an online midterm due by noon and a midterm paper due by Tuesday night. Time to come back to 2012 and tackle these assignments.

Thanks for reading!

Cameron

On the Brink

     Recently I have been thinking about my life and how much it has changed. Not only since coming to college, but also just in the past few months. I am a junior in college now (that still sounds so weird/scary to me), and, while I am still an RA on campus, I have moved to a different community than the Suites, where I had lived for the past 2 years at Kennesaw State. I live in the University Village now, a mixed community with apartment style dorms. For the first time ever, I have a full-size kitchen, a living room, and laundry room, all in my apartment that I can call mine. It is not my parent's apartment, it is my apartment. While it is still on campus, I feel like I grew up a bit when this happened. I have the ability (and the talent, I might add) to cook an actual dinner on the stove/in the oven, and that has been awesome. I can do laundry whenever I feel like it, but I do not have to pay for it.

     Because of this change, this growing up that I have recently experienced, I believe I am on the brink of something completely new and different. I have come to the realization that I have a choice: I can rise to the occasion and be great, or I can fall back and merely coast through it.

     The first is my Christian walk. I will be completely honest in saying that I have been rocky. Reading my Bible and having that daily time with God has not been on my list of top priorities like I know it should be. Living out the Christian walk like I know I was raised to do has not been my lifestyle lately. Andy Stanley did a 4-part sermon series entitled, "The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating", that I watched on line some time ago, but recently has crept back up into my thoughts. (If you haven't watched the series, I strongly recommend it. Here's the link! The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating.) One thing he said in particular has stuck with me ever since the first time I watched it. He said, "Are you the type of person that the person you're looking for is looking for?" I had never thought about that before. I know what type of girl I am looking for to eventually marry, but have I been the type of guy she is looking for? The answer: probably not. I want to be the type of man that a good, Christian woman wants to marry. I want to enter into a marriage where not only is our love for each other evident, but also our love for God. That is why I recognized that I needed to make changes to the way I have been living. If I truly want what I say I want, then I have to do whatever it takes to get that. I am by no means saying that I want to be married in the next year, or even in the next 2 or 3 years. I am, however, saying that I need to lay the foundation for that now. I am only 20 years old, but in 2 short years I will be a 22 yr. old college graduate, and I (hopefully) foresee getting married following that not too far behind.

     The next area where I see a big "occasion" on the rise is in my studies. This sort of thinking came about because I am taking 3 classes this summer, and have already lost my motivation to actually do work for those classes. A good friend of mine, after telling her I had no motivation, told me that I just had to push through the classes and do well, or else I would look back and feel like I wasted the summer. I cannot stop time from continuing. I cannot stop the deadlines, tests, and papers from coming, so the thing I need to do now is just push through and do what I need to do. She was right, my friend. If I waste this summer, I am going to be so mad at myself. I will start the fall semester with the regret of having done poorly this summer, and I do not want that. So here's to finding the motivation to do what I need to do, when I need to do it.

     I am not writing this for the public eye, although it is public for anyone who wants to read. I am writing this because I have always felt that once something is in writing and out in public, it is more official, more permanent, more real. I am hoping that by this, I am solidifying my want to be great.